Best dating advice i ever got
Best dating advice i ever got - speed dating in ann arbor mi
Light and breezy would have rocked my world during my single years, if I had been able to live it.
Joe was the last one sleeping in the house because he couldn’t get a flight home for a few days. When we left the party, red plastic cups of bad beer in hand, the buzz had been all about Joe’s Big Chance. “It was like if you give a kid a kitten and the loves it so much that he squeezes really hard and strangles it. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, or didn’t want relationships.It wasn’t that she was playing some kind of manipulative game, like “The Rules” that dictated that she shouldn’t call a guy first, or had to keep him on tenterhooks to maintain his interest.She just maintained a healthy emotional distance until it was really, really clear that there was strong mutual interest, living in the present rather than in some fantasy of the future.She respected herself, she had things to do, and she was looking at a romantic relationship as a beautiful addition to her existing life, not as the thing that would make that life worth living.It’s about being in that uncertain place without pushing, forcing, nagging, or otherwise putting pressure on the delicate filament of romantic potential.
Light and breezy is this: you go three days without receiving a text. You don’t send more, increasingly needy or passive-aggressive messages.You send a message that says “did you get eaten by bears on the camping trip? You don’t spend every minute trying to figure out why you didn’t hear back, and is it because he thinks you’re ugly or is he back with his old girlfriend, and are you going to be alone forever, and oh god he had beautiful hands…you just don’t do it.Keep it light and breezy, and if it’s coming your way, it’ll come.The best advice, the advice that worked, and stayed with me for years is all really about mindfulness, presence and non-attachment.(Even though none of it came from Buddhists, and I wasn’t a Buddhist when I received most of it).The guy was moving on, which was what I was sensing, and he really didn’t want anything at all from me other than a gracious and easy release.