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Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.The scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25The problem..the solution: We get it.
For many women, though certainly not all, if they are going to break with gender norms, it is only going to be for a really attractive guy.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?
, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah.
, we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.
Aviv Goldgeier, an engineer for the dating website Hinge, recently analyzed the share of “likes” on Hinge that went to the most-liked people of each gender.
He found that inequality on dating apps is stark, and that it was significantly worse for men.The top 1% of guys get more than 16% of all likes on the app, compared to just over 11% for the top 1% of women.(Unlike swipe-based Tinder, Hinge is based on a system of “liking” some particular aspect of a person’s profile.)The reason for this gender disparity is probably not that women are more appearance-focused than men.Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.